Every once in a while the world goes spinning into madness. And as the wheel turns so too the madness abates, waiting its time to rise again. This is a particularly challenging time for some of us on the planet. As the Chinese would say, it’s an “interesting” time. Mothers and fathers so in love in an idea they sacrifice their children’s lives. Whole futures disappearing with them. Disease spreading because a “custom” doesn’t allow for isolation of the sick. The news and media have me running under the covers for relief. What is one to do? The challenge to remember who we are and who’s in charge is tremendous. If only I was in charge, no child would ever be in peril again for some political or religious position. But I’m not in charge. My Senators voted to turn back children to a crime-ridden community that doesn’t want them. Mothers have sacrificed their lives to send these children to us for safety and care. A new set of “huddled masses”. Only these masses are not streaming into New York harbor. They’re crawling in the desert thousands of miles to a land that has no more promises.

My President, along with both houses of Congress vote to deny the American dream to those in need. Perhaps we’ll pollute all the great lakes with our destructive love of money, and then maybe we’ll get someone’s attention. Only my deepest belief in the rightness of things and the way of the divine keeps me here as a person who wants to share the light. Any act of love and kindness is the only way I know to defeat the dark. Prayer, meditation, gentleness and love are the antidote available to everyone. Please, turn on a light.

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My Book

So it’s finally here.  My children’s book THE THREE THIEVES AND THE MAGIC TEARS is finally ready for sale.  You can get it at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Chapters in Canada and as an e book.  You can also order it from the publisher authorhouse.com but it’s more expensive.

 

It’s a remarkable feeling to actually see something I’ve written in print.  I don’t know exactly what my feelings are — just odd.

I was sorry to see these characters go, so I started a second book, which is the back story to the magic forest where Nana Ida lives.

It’s a darker story and I haven’t found the arc yet.  But I have hopes.  Perhaps this is what my retirement is really about.  There has never been a time in my life when it was absolutely essential that I earn a living.  It would help Victor, of course, but we will still have a roof and food and our lives.  I feel so fortunate and I am so grateful.

troubles

Family and friends have troubles.  Real life, serious health problems and heart/spirit troubles.    I want to run and get busy and get mad and get things done.  Huh?  It’s not my life.  Oh yeah, I forgot.  The heartaches of others that hurt my heart are not mine to cure.  Whenever I get in that mind set, it takes a few minutes for me to realize whose in charge, and it ain’t me.  How quickly and easily I can forget the truth. That God is watching all, directing all and bringing the lessons we all need to learn.  Only my ego forgets this.  When I remember I feel foolish.  Then I forgive myself and begin to hold these others in my circle of light and prayer.  That’s what I can do.  That and listen, which I’m pretty good at.  The great challenge of my life is to surrender. A word so filled with misunderstanding.  I misunderstood it for a long, long time.  I was afraid I would lose myself if I surrendered.  Just the opposite happened.  Whenever I think I’m in charge, I’ve forgotten to surrender.  It’s a wonderful freedom to let go.  Challenging, but wonderful. Oy, so much to remember.

Equinox = equal? June 21, 20014

Vernal equinox – the day and night are equal in their divinity.  Now the night begins to take back the world.  Little by little so we don’t notice it until about September.  Lovely long nights here in Arizona.  Dark, but hardly cold.  We are still in the grip of summer with 111 degrees today. And we’ve just begun.  You easterners, take your envy back, save it for winter.

 

Saw another pimple on my soul today.  Want someone I love to be not who they are.  I want her to be more organized, more mature, more thoughtful about her own life, more aware…..yadda yadda..  How much fun is it to run into my unaccepting, critical self.  My husband is amazing in his ability to accept folks exactly where they are with no hopes or expectations for them.  For him they are who they are, and he has no expectations.  I think I’d rather live with hope and expectations and deal with my disappointments.  If could learn to do that with judgement.  Still a lot of work to do. It sneaks out of some corner of my brain that sleeps without my permission. Finding all the beds that hide in there is the challenge for the rest of my life.  Good to know there’s something I can identify to work on.

My family was the earth that nurtured my flight.  None of us becomes a complete human being in a vacuum.  We can only flower and grow in good soil.

Being the last born of a large family gave me strength and safety I might not have had were I the only one.  Now that I am old, they are older.  I have two sisters and two brothers who are old.  Old and some not so well.  I am likely to be the last one.  I don’t wish to be without them.  Years ago my mother’s baby sister said to me, “it’s terrible to be the one left.”  I never forgot that.  Unless God sees it differently, I will be the one left.  In ruminating on these facts I found myself finally at peace with them.  Knowing we all choose the time we leave this plane (and believing it) I can let go of the illusion of power and attachment.  It’s exciting to know that connections with all things of this world and other worlds go on and on, that I am never really alone, and that understanding we are one with all is giving me rest. Finally, grateful.